The Perfect Indulgence Read online

  “What?” He had no idea what his brother had been saying.

  “I asked whether you thought Chris would give me a job at Slow—”

  “No.” Zac closed his eyes, regrouping. Who was going crazy? “I mean, I think she has all the staff she needs.”

  “Uh-huh.” Luke was looking at him suspiciously. For all the stupidity he’d demonstrated in his own short life, he was annoyingly perceptive about other people’s. “So do you think she’d go out with me if I—”

  “No.”

  Luke raised his pierced eyebrow. “You were in a great mood earlier. What the hell happened?”

  “Sorry, man.” Zac rubbed his chin, glancing over at Chris, who was smiling up at Bodie as if he was her best friend. “I’m just...” Damn, that sweet, sunny smile pissed him off. If Chris was going to go for someone besides Zac, at least she could find a guy with a brain and respect for women. Bodie was so in love with himself he had no room for anyone else.

  “Oh, I get it.” Luke had followed his gaze and was now smirking triumphantly. “All is clear to the amazing Luke.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Her.” He jerked his thumb back over his shoulder toward Chris. “You’re into her. And it’s driving you crazy that she might be into Mr. Canned Beef over there.”

  “That’s not what is bothering me.”

  “Yes it is. Don’t BS me.”

  Zac took a deep breath. Early on in this intervention, he’d promised his brother total honesty as the only way they could trust each other. He hadn’t counted on the promise backfiring like this. “Okay, okay. Maybe you’re right.”

  “I’m right.”

  “You’re right, fine. Don’t push it.” He jabbed a finger at his brother. “And don’t ask her out again.”

  “Message received.” Luke held up his hands in surrender. “Your turf, I get it. I’ll stay away. After all, blood is thicker than semen.”

  “Oh, jeez.” Zac grimaced. “Do you have to say that stuff?”

  In spite of his crappy mood, he was glad to see Luke laugh. The self-conscious tough-guy image got hard to take after a while. When Luke smiled he was Zac’s kid brother again.

  “If it’s any consolation—” Luke motioned to Bodie contemptuously “—that guy’s got nothing on you.”

  “Yeah, thanks.” The compliment pleased him, but he would’ve preferred to hear it from Chris.

  “So? What are you going to do about it? What’s your plan?”

  “My plan?” Zac let his hand drop to the table. “I’m going to go back to work, and help you find a job around here, and I’m going to keep you out of trouble.”

  “Dude. I meant about her.”

  “Nothing.” Zac stood and set his coffee cup on the tray for used dishes, only slightly gratified when Chris glanced over distractedly. At least she was keeping track of him. “Let’s go.”

  “Nothing?” Luke got to his feet. “What kind of geek strategy is that?”

  “Mine.” He led the way out of the shop, not looking at Chris again, not wanting to see her going all dewy-eyed over Mr. Canned Beef, as Luke had appropriately named him. That kind of torture Zac could do without. He’d thought he was so smooth asking her for a date. He was never using the phrase Dinner sometime? again.

  “Are you going to ignore me for the rest of my life?”

  Zac made a sound of frustration and stopped among the shaded tables and coffee-sipping patrons outside the store, swinging around to face his brother. “No, no, I’m not. I’m sorry.”

  Luke peered up at him. “She’s got you, huh?”

  “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “Liar.”

  Zac shook his head and kept walking. “You’re pissing me off.”

  “Yeah? Where are we going?”

  “Home to pack up dinner, then we’re going to the beach to eat it.”

  “Beach in February. Cool.”

  “I’ll give you about ten days to figure out why I moved to California.”

  They passed a woman wearing tight jeans and a low-cut top with a push-up bra. Luke turned, lowering his sunglasses for a better look. “Dude, I figured it out already.”

  * * *

  THEY’D FINISHED DINNER—Zac in an only marginally better mood—and were sitting next to a bonfire on Aura Beach when Zac’s phone rang, making him tense and then instantly exasperated. When was he going to stop hoping that it was Chris calling? Chris texting? Chris emailing? He really needed to figure out a way to get this woman out of his head before he became unhealthily obsessed.

  Yeah, probably way too late for that.

  He hauled out his phone and broke into a grin when he saw who the caller was. Jackie Cawling, a friend from his years in the Peace Corps, in his late twenties. They’d both been assigned to Kenya and had dated for a year or so—long-distance, since their towns were miles apart. After their assignments ended, they’d realized their attraction had mostly been based on each other’s familiarity in a strange land, and they’d parted pleasantly. Jackie was still traveling, had never settled down and probably never would. Every now and then she’d call, occasionally even show up, and then disappear until the next time he heard from her.

  “Jackie! Where are you calling from this time? Italy? China? Australia?”

  “Much more exotic.”

  “Bali? Cook Islands? Venus?”

  “Even more out there. I’m in Los Angeles. I have a few weeks with nothing to do before I start a job on a llama farm in Peru and I’m sick of the city and craving the mellowness of the Central Coast. Want to see me?”

  “Absolutely.” He couldn’t stop grinning. “You need a place to stay? My brother’s here, but he would love to sleep on the couch.”

  “Hey.” Luke was indignant. “She better be totally hot.”

  Zac covered the phone to whisper, “Incendiary.”

  “Yeah?” Luke’s eyes lit up. “Couch works for me.”

  “Thanks, Zac,” Jackie said. “It’d just be for a day or two. I have a friend with a cabin in the middle of nowhere on the beach just up the coast from you, and I’ll want to hang out there and do my hermit thing for a few days. Then I have some buddies I’m seeing in Santa Cruz and blah, blah, blah, on up the coast. I plan to hit Carmia on Saturday. That’s the seventh, I think. That okay?”

  “That’s great.”

  “Awesome. I can’t wait to catch up. You finished your master’s yet? Wait, of course you have. Last time we talked you were about done. So, doctorate now? Where are you applying?”

  “Stanford, MIT, Columbia and Penn.”

  “Oh, my—” Her familiar deep laugh made him smile. “What, you’re not trying any good schools?”

  “Nah, wasn’t up to it.” He leaned back on the blanket, feeling much better. Jackie knew him about as well as anyone did. Kind of hard to play mind games or hang on to fake attitudes living in a remote African village. “So what about you, Jackie? Where have you been? What have you been doing?”

  “I’ll fill you in when I see you, at great length. In fact, I look forward to staying up all night over cups of coffee the way we used to. However, I need to know now, since I am a gossip slut, is there a potential Mrs. Zac?”

  He snorted. “That remains to be seen.”

  “Ooh, I’ll want details.”

  “Nothing to tell yet. Why, is there a Mr. Cawling?”

  “Nope. Only temporary relief now and then for me. I won’t get married until I’m too old to travel. Then I’ll find you wherever you are and propose.”

  “That sounds like a deal. I’ll see you Saturday, Jackie.” He hung up, warmth spreading through his chest, and felt himself finally starting to relax. Jackie was unique: a strong, confident woman, comfortable in her own skin, generous and dedicated to helping make the world a better place. If he had half a brain he’d fall for her instead of being crazy about a woman who had no idea who she was.

  At least Jackie’s timing was perfect. He could use a friend, and he could defini
tely use a distraction.

  * * *

  SUMMER WIPED DOWN the counter at Slow Pour, even though it was already clean. Not much going on this morning. A couple of chairs taken, not exactly a rush at the counter. The café was doing well overall, maybe even a little better than when Eva had been here, but there would always be quiet times. Thank goodness.

  If you asked her—which no one had and no one probably would—Summer would say that Chris was sorta losing it. She was still acting calm, certainly calmer than when she’d arrived back in October, all wound up. It had been fun watching her slowly relax over the next little while under the influence of Central California.

  Then she’d discovered the Peace, Love and Joy Center and had made a typical newcomer mistake, thinking she had to totally submerge herself in their let-it-be philosophy, instead of just taking from it what worked for her. It was hard watching Chris’s constant struggle to battle her real nature. And also kind of funny, though it wasn’t very nice of Summer to think so.

  But over the past few days, she’d noticed things starting to slide. Nothing huge, nothing that would interfere with business. Chris had forgotten to clean a portafilter on the espresso machine. She’d left sales paperwork out on the counter. Toilet paper hadn’t been reordered until they were nearly out. The type of mistakes Summer would have expected from flighty Eva, but until now Chris had run the shop impeccably.

  Summer had a pretty good idea what had unsettled her temporary boss, but as she said, no one was likely to ask her. The benefit of looking like a stereotypical California girl was that people assumed she didn’t have a brain in her head and expected little. Which was handy when she wanted to be ignored, and annoying as hell the rest of the time.

  She had big plans for her life, though she hadn’t told anyone about them. Telling invited scorn, doubt or ridicule. Or worse, polite encouragement that served as a front for total disbelief. Summer wanted to go to college—no, she was going to college. Full-time, not just taking one online class at a time the way she was doing now. And then she was going on to graduate school, in psychology. She’d be the first in her family to get an advanced degree. From there, Summer wanted to—was going to—become a therapist, to help kids who hadn’t grown up in a house with major identifiable drama for which there were already support networks in place, like alcoholism, drugs, physical abuse or mental illness. But for kids like herself, whose parents had just really sucked at child rearing.

  But first...she had to be able to afford full-time college. She’d almost been there, had been planning to start in January, and then her car had died, and her flaky sister needed another loan to pay off credit-card debt, and Summer had had to use a chunk of her savings. A frustrating setback. She’d gotten a really nice scholarship from Cal Poly, and the administration had been great about helping her defer matriculation by a year, but she couldn’t keep putting it off.

  Next fall, she’d make it there for sure.

  The door opened. A kid came in, about her age, maybe a year or two older, wearing nearly round John Lennon sunglasses with smoky-gray frames. Very cool. A small shock of attraction hit her and she pushed the feeling away. Good-looking guys came into Slow Pour all the time. She should be used to it by now.

  “Hey.” He ambled up to the counter, jeans and T-shirt hanging off his wiry frame. “Is Chris here?”

  “Not until two.” She smiled pleasantly. “Can I help you?”

  “Yeah, um...” He took off his sunglasses to reveal blue eyes framed by long black lashes; a silver ring pierced his right eyebrow. Heart-stopping eyes. Big-trouble eyes, the kind that made her feel stupidly flustered. Eyes that, now she thought about it, seemed oddly familiar. “I was looking for Chris.”

  Uh. Hadn’t she just explained that Chris wasn’t here? “She’ll be here at two. I’m taking the morning shift today.”

  “Yeah, um...yeah, okay. You said that. Sorry.”

  “Did you want to leave her a message?”

  “No, no. No, that’s okay.” He laughed nervously. His mouth was full and very sexy. “I’m being a dork, aren’t I?”

  Summer lifted an eyebrow, not sure how strongly to agree with him. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “I’m Luke.” He held out his hand. “Usually I’m very together. Very smooth. Probably the coolest guy you’ll ever meet.”

  She couldn’t help a half smile. “Cool Hand Luke?”

  “Sorry?”

  “Never mind.” Obviously his parents didn’t watch TV incessantly. Hers practically never left their recliners. Her brother and sister had inherited the same disease. Summer had had it, too, until she reached high school and realized she was going to have to take responsibly for her own life if she wanted to live it differently. “I’m Summer. Did you want me to tell Chris you stopped by?”

  “I was wondering if she wanted to come down to the beach with Zac and me. Do you—”

  “You know Zac?” Summer adored Zac. If he was closer to her age, and if she had any chance with him, she’d fall madly in love. But he wasn’t, and she didn’t, so she kept her hormones under control.

  “He’s my brother.”

  “Right, of course.” No wonder those eyes looked familiar. Luke was considerably younger, thinner and darker than Zac, with a stronger nose, but the eyes were the same. This must be the brother Zac had flown to Connecticut to rescue from whatever mess he’d gotten himself into. “I should have guessed that.”

  “Yeah, we’re like twins. Most people can’t even tell us apart. I’m surprised you didn’t think I was him when I walked in.”

  That got a laugh. He was nervous, edgy, carrying around pain, she guessed. The signs were easy to recognize once you knew them. Her sister, Angela, was the same way. Hilarious, but in a way that made you uneasy to be around. “Can I get you some coffee?”

  He glanced at his watch. “How about I come back at two and have a cup with you?”

  Uh... Summer could handle this type of question easily from strangers—a quick, polite no, thanks—but she had a hard time saying no to Luke. “I’m not really supposed to date customers.”

  “It’s not a date, and because Zac paid last time we were here, technically, I’m not a customer.” He shoved his fingers through his longish, ragged hair and shook it back into place. “No big deal. I’m new in town, don’t know anyone my age, just thought maybe...”

  Summer bit her lip, taken aback by how much she wanted to accept. This kid had apparently been through some tough times and could use a friend. But she wasn’t sure how much trouble he’d gotten into, and she wasn’t wild about becoming part of his recovery.

  “Never mind. Nice meeting you. Tell Chris I stopped by.” He tapped the counter and started walking away, trying to look cool but managing only to look too thin and fragile and rejected.

  “Wait.” She gestured him back before she’d had time to think about what she was doing.

  He turned, eyes hopeful. If he’d looked even remotely triumphant, she would have sent him out again, having realized he’d manipulated her. “Yeah?”

  “What did you do? What did Zac have to rescue you from?”

  “Only myself.” He looked younger when he smiled big like that. “I got into a bar fight. I was drinking too much, hanging with the wrong crowd. But I went to therapy and now I’m perfect.”

  Summer laughed. “Yeah, congratulations on that.”

  “Change your mind about coffee? I’m harmless. Just looking for a friend.”

  Summer grinned. She had a thing for damaged guys, had dated a couple, attracted by their need, naively thinking she could help them. But she’d discovered that damaged guys made really poor partners. All their energy went into coping with just being themselves. “No, thanks. But I’ll see you around, I’m sure. Carmia’s a small place.”

  “Yeah, maybe some other time.” He looked so sweet and hopeful she felt herself softening.

  “Maybe.”

  “Let me know when you’re ready. I’m a patient guy.”
r />   She doubted that. But she did feel bad for him. She understood loneliness, how it could alter your perception of everything, from how you felt about yourself to how you felt about the weather. And she understood that impulse, when you felt adrift, to latch onto someone who was firmly anchored.

  “See ya.” Luke backed up a few steps, putting his sunglasses back on. Then he gave her an I’m-so-cool thumbs-up and barely missed bumping into the door on his way out.

  Summer smiled, preferring his clumsy moments to the pretentious ones. At least they were real. He was probably the kind of kid she’d be seeing on her figurative couch someday. It wouldn’t be bad to talk to him, see if she could figure out what made him tick. It would be like preparation for her university program even without more than a course or two under her belt.

  And she could count on Zac to keep him in line if he ever stepped over it.

  In the meantime she’d have to forget that he was, in his own cocky and slightly pathetic way, really, really cute. Her life plan included relationships, but she was looking for someone mature, ambitious, respectful, supportive and able to love openly and deeply. Gorgeous and built wouldn’t hurt, but it wasn’t as important.

  Too bad Zac was out of her league. And from what she’d seen of the way he looked at Chris...not likely to change.

  But his brother... She turned away from the counter, looking for something to do to keep herself occupied until the next customer came in, still feeling light and fizzy, thinking about the way Luke looked at her, how hard he’d tried to be a tough guy, yet how easily he’d admitted to his flaws and his efforts to fix them.

  With Zac’s brother she’d have to be careful.

  3

  “FOUR TOTALLY HOT guys asked you out on Monday? In one hour?”

  “Yes.” Chris sat in a half lotus on the rug in Eva’s living room, breathing calmly, waiting while Eva shouted the news to Ames—they’d just gotten back to Ames’s luxury Manhattan apartment after a movie and late-night dinner. Ames had been a regular at NYEspresso and had tried to go out with Chris before he met Eva and totally changed his idea of the perfect mate.