Nothing to Hide Page 18

  “Oka-a-y! My name is Amanda, and I’ll be taking care of you today!”

  “I can take care of myself, Amanda.” Sandra accepted her menu wearily. “From you, I just need lunch.”

  “Oh. Well, okay, sure, no problem, I can do that.” She giggled nervously, took their orders for iced tea and fled.

  Jonas nodded pointedly toward Amanda’s retreat. “Nice.”

  “I’m not feeling very nice today.”

  “You look very nice.”

  She smiled. “You’re adorable. I wish I could marry you and be done with all this.”

  “Huh?” His brother must have rattled her badly. The Sandra he knew would have either patted Erik’s head and sweetly told him to go away, or she would have laughed until he left on his own. “What did you do when he told you he loved you?”

  “What any closeted romantic would do. I freaked the hell out.”

  “In a good way or bad?”

  Sandra dropped her eyes. “Both.”

  Really. How interesting. “How did Erik react?”

  “Like any Meyer out for what he wants. He shrugged and said I might as well get used to it because he wasn’t going anywhere.” Her features softened. “I’m feeling doomed.”

  “There are worse fates.” He grimaced playfully. “Though given Erik, I’m not sure I want to know what they are.”

  “Ha!” She sipped her iced tea, blushing.

  Blushing! Sandra! Jonas grinned, suddenly able to imagine Sandra as a future sister-in-law.

  “So...” She looked at him expectantly. “Allie. What’s going on there?”

  “Nothing at the moment.”

  “Wait, why?” Her anguish was genuine. “I thought you guys were perfect for each other.”

  “I thought so, too. Until Friday.”

  “Oh, God.” Sandra lifted her iced tea. “Hell of a day for lovers. What happened?”

  “She told me things about her past.” He shook his head. “It’s hard to explain.”

  Across from him Sandra stiffened. “What kind of things?”

  “She grew up poor. Really bad. Her dad left the family for a rich woman, her mom slid into alcoholism, her five brothers ran wild, it was really...tough.”

  “Sounds it. So what was the problem?”

  “She never told me. It was like she didn’t trust I could handle it. What kind of person does that make me?”

  Sandra looked at him through narrowed eyes for so long that he started to wonder if she’d been listening. “Got a cigarette?”

  “Huh?” Her request startled him. “I don’t smoke. And neither do you.”

  “Used to. Gave it up when I gave up amphetamines and stripping, which I started after I left my abusive husband whom I married to escape my billionaire parents, the McKinleys of Greens Farms, Connecticut.”

  He waited for her to laugh, to let him in on the joke, and when she didn’t, he could only stare. Had she lost it? “Sandra...”

  “It was a while ago.” She picked up the menu, clearly having a hard time. “What looks good to you here?”

  “Wait, are you serious? About all...that?”

  She met his eyes. “Deadly.”

  He sat back in his chair, bewildered. Two bombshells in three days from the women he was closest to. What the hell? “You never told me.”

  “Nope.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s not the kind of thing you just tell someone.”

  Jonas winced. Her words were nearly identical to the ones Allie had used. “It is the kind of thing you tell a close friend.”

  “I just did.”

  “But—”

  “Jonas, it was a long time ago, it sucked, now it’s over.”

  “Yeah, but...” He narrowed his eyes, trying to put all these crazy pieces together into something that made sense. “Have you told Erik?”

  “Friday.”

  “Why him? Why Friday and not before?”

  “I think I’ll have the BLT burger.” She stabbed her finger at a spot on the page. “I need to ingest fat and protein in large quantities.”

  “You told him...” Jonas felt like the wheels were only just starting to turn in his brain. “Because he was a lot more than a good friend.”

  “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”

  “Holy moly, Sandra.” He stared at her, alternating between disbelief and happiness for both of them. “I’m speechless.”

  “Actually, you’re still talking.” She closed her menu and set it down carelessly, but he saw her trying to hold back a smile.

  “Hey, there! How are those iced teas working for you?”

  “How are they working for us?” Sandra feigned confusion. “Oh, wait, you mean how do they taste?”

  “They’re fine, Amanda, thanks.” Jonas shot Sandra a cut-it-out look, wanting Amanda gone so he could take his conversation with Sandra to the next logical, amazing, wonderful step.

  “Good! Good!” Amanda’s smile had finally lost some of its wattage. Jonas would give her a huge tip. “May I take your orders?”

  “I’ll have the BLT cheeseburger, medium, with the seasoned fries and coleslaw.” Sandra handed the menu back and blinked sweetly at Jonas—See? I wasn’t mean that time.

  “I’ll have...” Jonas picked up the menu and glanced at it. “The same.”

  “Gre-e-at! I’ll have those right out for you.”

  Jonas waited impatiently for Amanda to walk away, and then leaned across the table, his head whirling, heart pounding. “I didn’t go far enough before. You actually told Erik the truth about yourself on Friday because you’re in love with him.”

  She waggled her index finger back and forth. “Not admitting that.”

  “C’mon, Sandra.”

  “I told him because he has this superpower that makes me tell him things I’m not intending to.” Her voice thickened. “And then after I do, I feel closer to him, and then vulnerable and terrified and I swear I’ll never do it again. And then I do. I think I’m cracking up.”

  “That would explain—” Jonas clapped his hand to his head. “God, I’m an idiot.”

  Sandra snorted. “If the trouble between you and Allie is your fault, no argument there.”

  “No big trouble. Just a snag.” He drew his hands down his face, suddenly filled with all the energy he’d been missing over the weekend. “So how did you and Erik leave it?”

  “We just left it.” She sighed. “Still stuff to deal with. How did you and Allie leave it?”

  “We just left it.” He sighed. “Still stuff to deal with. But you know, if things don’t work out with Erik, you’ll always have me.”

  She patted his hand. “If you don’t make things work with Allie you’re a moron who doesn’t deserve any happiness for the rest of time.”

  Jonas smiled tenderly. “Aw, thanks, babe.”

  “Here we go!” Amanda put down their burgers. “Will there be anything else?”

  Sandra picked up her burger. “There might be someday.”

  “Nothing, thank you,” Jonas said. “Ignore her, she’s on leave from the clinic.”

  “Ah!” Amanda threw her head back and laughed extremely loudly, then walked quickly away.

  Sandra smiled affectionately at Jonas, a real sweet smile, brimming with affection. He smiled back.

  “I want you to be happy, Jonas.”

  “I want you to be happy, too.”

  “Good. Enough sentiment.” She gestured to their burgers. “Time to harden our arteries.”

  “Absolutely.” He picked up his burger and took a fabulous juicy bite. “And then I need to make some serious plans.”

  * * *

  Diary, my dreams all came true tonight—not the way I planned, but does it really matter? After Walter came in from nighttime fishing on the lake with his friend Ted, I was going to meet him at the door of his room wearing the absolutely fabulous white beaded lace dress that I got for my birthday but haven’t worn yet, and underneath it, white lace knickers. To give him a
taste of the sweet virginal girl I can be.

  But it didn’t work out that way. Ted got sick, so Walter invited me out instead, for a romantic ride. Of course I couldn’t wear the dress in a rowboat! But he didn’t seem to mind. He rowed me out to the middle of the lake, and then he brought out candles and a bottle of dessert wine and some wonderful cakes he’d bought in Glens Falls. It was so beautiful and so romantic.

  When we’d had enough to eat, and probably too much to drink, Walter got on his knees and proposed! I nearly fell overboard. I am so very, very happy, and so much in love. We want our children to come up here with us every summer and grow to love the place as much as we do.

  Walking on air tonight!

  * * *

  ALLIE CLOSED AND LATCHED the last trunk in the attic. Jonas and Erik had arranged for a moving company to stop by midweek to pick up the clothes and deliver them to Julie’s parents’ apartment in New York, which had enough storage space. The idea of starting her own shop appealed to her—either online or in an actual, physical space—using the clothes from the attic as inspiration for her own creations. In the meantime, she’d accepted the new job that morning and would start the following Monday. Since there wouldn’t be much of a learning curve, her hope was that she’d have time to work on her new career, though crunch times during any ad campaign meant long hours in the office. Just the idea made her feel claustrophobic. But the reality of her situation was that she needed a job. The people seemed nice there, and they’d been pleased she accepted the offer. It was the right thing to do.

  She stood and indulged in a good stretch, freezing at a noise downstairs. Was someone here? The mysterious Clarissa? Or Erik, back from Boston? He wasn’t due back until tomorrow. She hoped he and Sandra had a good time, and that he’d be bringing her with him for his second week of vacation. Funny to think how so recently he’d wanted to spend those two weeks alone with her.

  Footsteps sounded below.

  “Hello?” she called over toward the trapdoor, her silly, overoptimistic heart hoping it was Jonas, while at the same time she scolded herself for being ridiculous. After that strained horrible weekend together she’d be surprised if he ever wanted to see her again.

  Julie had sure been right! Unlocking the truth about Allie’s past had set a whole lot of stuff in motion that was making her really, really happy! Which was why she’d cried herself to sleep the previous night.

  Come to think of it, she hoped it wasn’t Jonas. She looked like a puffy-eyed clown.

  “Hey, girlfriend.”

  “Sandra!” She was desperately happy to hear Sandra’s voice, feeling suddenly as if she was stuck in a snowbank and Sandra had a keg of rum around her neck.

  “What’s going on?” Sandra’s beautiful face and shoulders appeared through the hole in the floor, followed by the rest of her. Even in jeans and a simple blue striped top, she looked exotic and glamorous. Immediately Allie could tell something was different about her, but couldn’t figure out what. “Oh, you’re packing up! What did you decide to do?”

  “Nothing for a while.” She shrugged dismissively. “I had thoughts about starting my own business designing clothes.”

  “You should! If your designs look anything like these clothes you’ll be huge.”

  “Thanks.” Allie smiled, wondering how Sandra could have that much confidence in her when she’d never seen anything Allie had designed. More confidence than Allie had in herself. She gestured impulsively to one of Bridget’s trunks. “Listen, I was going to offer anyway, but didn’t know you’d be here before I left. Would you like some of the gowns for your shows?”

  “Oh, you are a sweetheart. Thank you.” Sandra’s eyes brightened. “Tell you what, you start your shop and I’ll be your first and best customer.”

  Allie nodded her thanks, making a mental note to send her that blue gown she’d looked so spectacular in. “I wasn’t expecting you up today. Is Erik here, too?”

  “He’s coming tomorrow. I just couldn’t wait to hang out here. It’s so fabulous, isn’t it?” She touched Allie’s shoulder. “You staying the week?”

  “Oh, no.” She shook her head. No way could she stay among so many memories of her days and nights with Jonas. It was time to go back to New York and start fresh. Learn from her mistakes with him and do better going forward. Wasn’t that what dating was about? Finding who was right, who was wrong, what kind of partner you were and what kind of partner you needed.

  It was just that at twenty-eight, she was obviously a slow learner. And Jonas had seemed so promising...

  Maybe there was still hope, still issues they could work out together. Except they’d always come up against the geographical distance. And his money would always be an issue. Allie hadn’t realized how much work she still had to do to come to terms with her father’s desertion of the family for a better life. It would be easier to date someone who didn’t represent everything she always felt she wasn’t.

  “You’re staying at least tonight, though?”

  “Actually, I was planning to catch a bus in a couple of hours.” The second she spoke she realized she’d much rather hang out there with Sandra.

  “Nonsense. I’m here now. I brought us dinner. There is enough alcohol in this house to float the U.S. Navy, and I think we should put a dent in it. You with me?”

  Allie wiped her dusty hands on her jeans, smiling. She’d just figured out what was different about Sandra. She looked happy. Really happy. Sparkles-shooting-out-of-her happy.

  Erik. Things must be going well for them.

  “You’re on. Let me shower off the grime and I’ll join you. On the beach?”

  Sandra shuddered. “I don’t do bugs. In the nice screened-in porch, maybe.”

  “See you in ten.”

  She showered and threw on tight pink shorts and an outrageously busy floral top, feeling much more human. Sandra was the kind of woman who could listen and offer advice. She’d grown up poor, and seemed to be doing fine with Erik. Plus she knew Jonas.

  Downstairs, out on the porch, Sandra was spreading one of the painted white tables with a picnic of chicken wings, pasta salad, marinated broccoli, peaches and miniature cupcakes in various flavors.

  “Yum. That looks fabulous.”

  “You think that looks fabulous, look at this.” She held up a bottle of champagne. “Taittinger Comtes de Champagne, 1995. This stuff goes for beaucoup bucks, baby. We are so having it.”

  “Do you think we should?” Allie was more surprised that Sandra knew the bottle was a good one—even the year?—than that she was suggesting they drink it.

  “Erik said to help ourselves to whatever.” She untwisted the wire cage. “This was in the refrigerator, therefore I am doing so.”

  “How did you know about the vintage?”

  “My parents loved Taittinger champagne.”

  “In Southie?” She wrinkled her nose. “Sorry, that burst out. I know you—”

  “In Greens Farms, Connecticut. An exquisitely wealthy community on Long Island Sound. I grew up there, the daughter of gazillionaires.”

  Allie’s heart sank. So Sandra and Erik were cut from the same cloth. “But you said...”

  “I lied.” She poured the bubbly into two flutes, tipping them so the foam would settle faster.

  “Why?”

  Sandra handed her a glass, her smile tinged with sympathy. “Honey, I think you know.”

  Allie gaped at her, feeling betrayed. “Jonas told you.”

  “Cheers.” Sandra took a sip and closed her eyes ecstatically. “Oh baby, that is almost better than sex.”

  Allie followed suit, hardly tasting a thing.

  “He told me in general terms under intense pressure. And only after I finally told him my story, which has more details you get to hear later.” She pulled out a chair. “Have a seat.”

  Allie sat numbly. “You hadn’t told Jonas before?”

  “Nope. Now I’ve told him and Erik and you. Because I have discovered something important that
everyone should know, but which took me over thirty years to figure out. And I am passing this wisdom along to you, my sister.” She passed Allie a plate. “Have a chicken wing.”

  “That’s it?” she said incredulously. “‘Have a chicken wing’?”

  Sandra snorted. “It is that I don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks of me except the people I love.”

  “The people you love.” Allie was slowly starting to get what Sandra was saying. “Because those are the people—”

  “Who must accept me as I am. If they don’t...” She hoisted her champagne glass. “Screw ’em. You and I, my darling Allie, have cared too much what the wrong people think. If we want to be happy, we have to go out there and grab our men by the balls and yank until they...what the hell am I saying?”

  Allie giggled and reached for the bottle. “I have no idea, but it sounded intriguing. More champagne?”

  “Absolutely. You know what’s so ironic?”

  Allie finished pouring. “No, Sandra, what is so ironic?”

  “I started this whole thing just wanting Erik for his money.”

  “But you grew up with tons.”

  “My parents cut me off when I was seventeen.”

  “No kidding.” Allie sat there, astounded. She’d spent her whole life making sure she never prized a man for his wealth, and here was Sandra, whom she liked and respected, saying exactly the opposite. “Were you trying to get money from Jonas, too?”

  “Yes, but I actually liked Jonas.”

  Allie nearly snorted champagne. Since she didn’t, she drank more. “You know, this keeps tasting better.”

  “Doesn’t it?” Sandra topped off their glasses. “I have a great idea. Let’s see how long that keeps happening.”

  “So you started just wanting Erik’s money, but then...” She knew, but she was curious if Sandra would admit it.

  “And then I did something incredibly stupid.” She dropped her gaze, took a deep breath. “I—”

  “Fell in love with him.”

  Sandra’s head jerked up. “How did you know?”

  “Ha! It’s right up there.” Allie pointed over her head, then clenched and unclenched her fingers. “Flashing pink neon.”